I control to feel safe but life shows me I cannot control anything so I feel even more threatened.
If what I'm looking for is unattainable, from the point of view of the body (as I know the body is mortal fragile vulnerable) how to feel safe? I want to control and look for ways to feel safe, seeking chasing... the search for feeling safe becomes the focal point and we forget, I forget that life is paradoxical. It is in accepting that safety appears!
Once I know how fragile and perishable I am, I know how strong I can be, once I stay with how my body functions, I am protected, seen, held, valued, loved... This is what I've been looking for all along, not control.
I only feel safe when I know I cannot be, then, and only then, I am with the entirety of myself and there's nothing to control there.