When you stop seeking outside
You learn this word without knowing why, when or how.
You learn you should use it when you do something that is not "normal",
that does not fit or that people do not like. And you ask.
But in truth, you do not even know what it means no matter how much you forgive others, the calm and peace you expect and want to feel does not come.
The acceptance and love you seek in response to your request is not enough and you still feel that something is missing.
And the guilt and pain you feel keeps growing.
But you insist in continuing to seek forgiveness outside ...
Until one day you focus on yourself.
And that loving, caring look allows you to feel everything.
You allow yourself to trust what you feel.
And then forgiveness gains meaning.
Your meaning. And you ask forgiveness ...
Forgiveness for respecting your will and your truth
even when it hurts other people. It was not your intention.
Forgiveness for not being better than you are.
Forgiveness for feeling your best is not enough
Forgiveness for not knowing what to do or how to do it
Forgiveness for doubting and questioning
Forgiveness for wanting to be everything.
Forgiveness for being who you are and not what others want you to be
Forgiveness for not always being able to forgive
Forgiveness for not feeling what you want or what you think you should feel
Forgiveness for feeling different.
And then you always ask forgiveness of others when you feel you should do it.
But now, the answer will no longer matter. Because YOU forgive yourself!
And that was always what you sought.
Now, to forgive is to know that you are human.
To forgive is to respect
To forgive is to accept
To forgive is to live
To forgive is to love!